Monday, October 3, 2011

Bye, September.

I had had an eventful September. Most of the things that had happened were not delightful enough to be shared with.

It all started on the first day of September itself, when one of my important family members left the rest of us. Although she passed away peacefully, she had never really looked at us with her seemingly soulless eyes,  nor said her last words to any of us in her last surviving month. All of us were helpless to see her dying state with irreversibly collapsing lungs, but the God had been with her and with us when she finally breathed for the last time.

And ironically, the EBP paper I'm currently critically appraising on is about quality of end of life care provided to elderly patients who were basically, dying. And this reminds me so much of my grandma, of how she had gone through her last moments, and how her children had endured with the pain and burdens. And how the memories continued to haunt me now and then, about how she used to shout whenever she saw me, 'HEY PHARMACIST! I know you're going to be a pharmacist in the future!'...

And how she looked so proud when she said those words.

But now I couldn't hear them anymore. That's life - birth, sickness, growing old, and eventually death. It's difficult to face death, but you're going to face it one day anyway. Don't be afraid of it; instead bask yourself in this knowledge and make full use of it - life's short, and before you regret anything, be sure you have done things that you've always wanted them done. And never ever, choose to ignore people around who care to stay and be with you. Don't take things for granted like me - I'd always thought she would live up to 100 years old regardless of any circumstances, but in the end she didn't make it. Don't wait till things happen - it will be WAY TOO LATE.

However, the chain of events did not just stop here for me in this September. I'm not going to talk about anything more here, because it would be too sensitive and I would probably get myself into troubles. But to endure everything, I had cried and screamed with tears, and finally seen things with definitely different perspectives. And I made a conclusion to myself : I only want to be happy, and besides that, I DON'T NEED ANYTHING ELSE MORE.

Finally September is over. Wake me up, when September ends. And yes, I've woken up to face a whole new month. Things that had happened in the past are already history, and I shall rise again to deal with more important things in my life. I have presentation and tests and exams and assignments coming up, and I can't afford to lose any more time.

But still, I wanna be happy. Mr. October, I hope you can bring me bliss and joy, because I know I deserve them.

I'm smiling, hope you're too. =)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

A Story of a Dog

I watched 'Nasi Lemak 2.0' movie directed by Namewee on Friday, and there was this dialogue being repeated over and over again throughout the whole movie. The man with spectacles who spoke broken Manglish was looking at a photo and with a frowning look he said,

'狗不会瘦,因为狗不会思念。
人会瘦,因为人会思念。'

Many people may think of these 2 sentences as funny verses to laugh at, but definitely not me. To me, it's been unfair to say that dogs don't miss, or dogs can't miss. Because I have a story to tell, a true story that had really happened in my real life.

Now the story begins...
My maternal grandfather (mother's father) passed away when I was 13, and ever since he married my grandmother he'd been living in a small rural village in Seremban. I've always known that my grandpa was an old man who was a very fervent dog-lover, and there'd never been a lack of dogs in his house back in the village. He'd built a big bungalow on a lawn with green grasses and huge trees, and we could always spot some four-legged fury creatures standing strong besides a small chicken farm and running free around the whole house. As far as my memory could accommodate, I knew of this dog which had accompanied my grandpa to his every last breath of life, and which itself had lived a long life of it own too.

It is not some dog with decent descendants, or with blood that flows with the pureness of any noble species. It's simply a male stray dog with golden furs, a pair of kind eyes, and barking sounds that are stern enough to scare strangers away. It has a swollen mole on its black wet nose and my grandpa had always been very proud of it - see, he has a mole on his nose, just like the mole on my arm. And yes, I'd loved the dog very much too. I don't know if it's the loyal nature of dogs that moved me, or I inherited the genes from my grandpa. I seem to love dogs as much as my grandpa loves them too.

It has a simple name - Bobby. Bobby has a simple life too. To him the lawn and the house were his home, and he never needed to be chained up anywhere because no matter how far he went, he would always remember the way back home. Dogs seem to have miraculous minds of interpreting people's thoughts. My mum told me from experiences (she grew up with my grandpa's dogs too), that dogs know if a person loves them or otherwise, and will respond and act accordingly. And because of that characteristic, Bobby loved every family member in the house, especially my grandpa. My grandpa fed him, raised him, played with him and took care of him; and in return Bobby gave all his loyalty to him. And I believe it was this loyalty that might have killed Bobby in his elderly life.

When I was 9 the State Government of Negeri Sembilan wanted to develop the village and thus the land where my grandparents lived in was retrieved with considerable amounts of compensation money. My grandparents never wanted to leave as the house had always been the only home they recognised, but they was left with no choices but to move away. So they took a decision to move to KL to live nearby their children including my mum, but they didn't take Bobby with them. In their opinions Bobby would not be able to get used to the life in a city in which he would have to be locked up behind the gates and with no freedom to be offered. So my grandpa parted with Bobby with great pain by giving him away to a neighbour, hoping that the new owner would keep him under the same environment, and the same amount of cares.

But what you think of others may not be what others are truly thinking about. Once my grandparents left, Bobby never ate, never drank, and never slept. He howled all day and night with such hurtful voice and grievous emotions that pained everyone who knew of him. Every time when the night arrived, he would walk solemnly to my grandpa's house that had already been demolished and lie on the ground where only debris of the past home was left. He would stay there until someone cruelly pulled him away, and would return once he missed my grandpa again. He was waiting for someone to return, and to take him away to the 'HOME' which he defined as a place where he could live with his family - the one he really missed and loved - no matter where it was, as long as he was not left alone.

A few weeks later my second uncle went to Seremban for some business matters and he took the opportunity to go back to the village to visit Bobby. And it was a heart-wrenching scene to look at. When Bobby saw my second uncle, he turned into such active creature that shocked the neighbour who had never seen him so energetic before. He ran towards my uncle and jumped on him with full speed and all his mights. My uncle laughed but what he saw next immediately bewildered him. Poor Bobby was crying. He clung onto my uncle's legs and hot fresh tears poured out of his eyes and rolled down his cheeks.

That was the first time ever my uncle saw a dog cry. Once he returned to KL he told my grandpa everything he saw, and my grandpa was so upset he cried with all guilt for the decision he had made to abandon Bobby all alone. Immediately he demanded that his daughter (my auntie) drove a van to Seremban as soon as possible and retrieved Bobby back to him. And it was as if Bobby had already known everything beforehand. When my auntie opened the door he quickly jumped into the van and sat in the van silently throughout the whole journey. But according to my auntie, he wasn't exactly silent at all in the van. He was weeping with tears and liquids were flowing out of his nose. He used his front paws to wipe them away and at that very moment, he looked so much like a real human - humans who are known to be the only creatures on the globe with feelings and emotions - and he had them all. His loyalty surpasses everything on earth and outshines every human who calls themselves the brightest living things with brains but never utilises them in a correct way. And I, after hearing the story, started to respect every organism around me, and also reflected on myself of how I'd been as a daughter, a sister, a student, a friend, a lover, and a HUMAN.

Bobby adapted quickly to the new environment and he was once again alive despite his old age. However, my grandpa's health began to deteriorate and when he passed away when I was 13, Bobby was quiet and peaceful all the time. I didn't see him during the entire funeral, but I knew he was somewhere mourning for his owner's death deeply. He continued to live with my grandma who saw him as a piece of memories left behind by my grandpa, and he lived strongly until he grew very old and very ill too. He finally left the world and my grandma adopted another stray dog which is a female with black furs. But whenever I look into her eyes and she looks back at me too, it's as if I'm seeing Bobby's black eyes inside them, and once again Bobby is alive, but in a different body.

So dear friends, do cherish your pets at home if you have one (especially dogs), because to them you're their everything, and their whole world. If you abandon them for whatever causes, it'll be as if their whole lives have been sucked out of them, and they'll be left with only void volumes inside their bodies. Don't be cruel to them. Once you willingly pick up the responsibility to take care of them, be sure you can hold it forever until their last seconds of lives, because they'll love you, and you'll have to love them too. If there's no reciprocity in a relationship, I'd rather that you don't establish it at all.

End of story peeps. Cheers. And please love animals.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

hi

Oh hey everybody, I was just so surprised that after I've ignored and 'ditched' my blog for SUCH A LONG TIME, the number of my blog's readers still manages to reach 12000+! Wow! Give an applause man!

*clap clap*

Haha, alright, enough of all those crazy and long-winded prologue. Anyway, I may give a detailed account about what I've done all these while. Alright, I will TRY to give a DETAILED one.

August..
-still a relief teacher, teaching English and I've-forgotten-what-it-is subjects.
-hanging around shopping complexes with no actual aims.

September..
-teaching.
-MOVED HOUSE. Hehe. Finally I left the one-storey house and moved into another bigger, more comfortable, and quieter, and of course more tranquil three-storey house. I've loved it so much, especially my own queen-sized bed. Haha.
*I'll upload the photos of my new house as soon as possible*

October..
-teaching.
-lazy to pick up my A-levels certificate until NOW.
-went to British Council near KLCC with a friend after school to apply for the IELTS test, and meanwhile suffered from the loss of a toenail. In fact, I'm still suffering from it. *sob*

November..till now..
-been anxious and tired of not being able to go online. Especially when it was my birthday and I was so eager to go on facebook to..YEA you know what it is. And yea, of course I've been able to do so out of some tricks and different ways of solutions. *winks*
-read, read, read. Crazy over different novels. Finished reading 'Slumdog Millionaire', 'Remember Me?' and 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' by Sophie Kinsella, 'Paths of Glory' by Jeffrey Archer, and 'Ma, He Sold Me for A Few Cigarettes' by Martha Long.
-currently reading 'The Prisoner of Birth' by Jeffrey Archer. Next target, perhaps 'PS I Love You'.
-my work's gonna end soon in this week. Will the students miss me, and will I miss the students? Haha. Who knows?
-God Bless Me! For the IELTS I'll be taking on 21st and 23rd in this month! *nervous*

Alright, that's all I think. Hands off the keyboard, till we meet again through words sometime in future.

Bye!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

god

Yesterday morning, I woke up late.

My school starts at 7 15 am everyday, and I'm supposed to wake up latest at 6 20 am.

But yesterday, I woke up at 6 40 am.

I knew I was so late, so I rushed to the bathroom quickly. To speed up, I tried to half run so that I could use the minimal time to prepare myself for work.

And on the way, I didn't see that there was a piece of broken glass on the floor. It was dark and I ran. And...

OUCH~~~~~ I stepped, oh no, I kind of stomped my left foot heavily on the broken glass....

The sole of my foot is thick enough to resist the pain, and for a normal person, he/she will just ignore it and walk away, not wanting to know what it is because he/she's already late for work. But due to some kind of reflex actions performed by the brain and nervous system, I quickly lifted up my left foot.

And saw a whole stream of red blood flowing, OOZING out of the stabbed wound. NON STOP.

GOD~~~~ I could feel my body weakening, ready to fall down anytime, especially when I was still so sleepy at that moment. But instead, I took out the glass stained by the wet blood, and then 'jumped' into the bathroom using another 'lucky' foot.

I just bathed, and shivered throughout the whole process. Oh man, I had to wear my mum's shoes, as I have nothing rather than a pair of high heels of my own.

Now, it's swollen, and I can see some patches of blood clots inside the foot sole. I couldn't walk properly without a pair of shoes, even when at home. I feel 'awkward' walking with bare, sliced foot.

TT

This is a sad thing. And now i'm going to talk about a happy thing.

Today Edexcel releases the result. 6.00 am GMT, which means 1.00 pm here. I had to work in the morning so was unable to follow my friends to college to take the hard copy. As a result of it, I had a nervous morning that I kept on sms-ing and calling friends when I had no classes.

At sharply 1.00pm, after the school ended, I was in front of the computer in the computer lab, panicked while trying to type the address and log in.

It was unsuccessful at first. I stared blankly for a while, heart throbbed and retorted wildly, and I refreshed the page.

There it was. GOD BLESS.

Thanks to all my friends who were/are with me yesterday and today, and had/have given me enough encouragements and supports.
Thanks to one of them who 'cursed' me yesterday, so that I would get nothing other than As. +) that's brilliant.
Thanks to my parents. They soothed me when I was down yesterday. (I thought I failed to achieve because HELP didn't call me at all yesterday)
Thanks to my siblings and relatives. Without them, there'll be no me.
Thanks to those I'd not mentioned. You taught me a lot in my life.

Thank God too. Amitabha.

Friday, June 26, 2009

RIP Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson is dead.

The King of Pop has died.

And it was so unexpected!

This morning at around 8.30am, i was listening to Mix FM and hearing every word the DJs said,

'Michael Jackson passed away at 4.02pm(time in US).'

And I was like..WHAT? NO HE CAN'T DIE!!! YOU CAN'T BE KIDDING ME!!!!

But indeed, he leaves us after a heart attack, after so many years of glory, and after leaving masterpieces of his music. He was an amazing man. A man who sang too many songs that are so familiar and catchy to us, no matter old or young.

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson.

In Memories of MJ - You are not alone


Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone...

Oh dear this song is so emotional...I'm almost crying!!! You are not alone Michael Jackson!!!

My another favourite song by him as well - Heal the World


There's A Place In
Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could
Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need
To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways
To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There's A Love That
Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong
It Only Cares For
Joyful Giving
If We Try
We Shall See
In This Bliss
We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread
We Stop Existing And
Start Living

Then It Feels That Always
Love's Enough For
Us Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

And The Dream We Were
Conceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We
Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep
Strangling Life
Wound This Earth
Crucify Its Soul
Though It's Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly
Be God's Glow

We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart
I Feel You Are All
My Brothers
Create A World With
No Fear
Together We'll Cry
Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn
Their Swords
Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me





R.I.P.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

LAZY BUMP~~~

Exam is over.

And i'm super-duper lazy.

And i still have lots of things to do.

To-do list :
1. Get myself a prom dress. It's only 4 to 5 days to go!
2. Watch lots of movies. Terminator Salvation! I still haven't watched it till now! *how sad*
3. Find a part-time job. Will inform everybody when i've got one. =,=
4. Comics comics comics!!!! I really have no idea since when i fall in LOVE with comics so much recently..but they're just awesome! =DDD
5. Twilight to finish reading! ><
6. Shopping..shopping..shopping..shopping!!!!!!

LOLZ guys, i shall write again when i regain my mood.

You know, it's only 9.12am in the early morning now. I still want to....

SLEEP~~

Ciao! Have a great and wonderful break guys! =]

Monday, April 20, 2009

may our paths meet again

Mock practical is tomorrow and I'm still here online in blogger and especially facebook.

Can't help. Haha.

These few days my mind is flying again. Flies to the future, flies to the forever. I've thought of many possibilities that may happen when time swifts, sometimes I smile when my mind stops at delightful things, and sometimes my heart sinks when I think of hurtful ones that I suppose, are happening and will happen soon no matter what.

Let it be, like a river flows. That's my quotation. I strongly believe in that.

Time fleets huh. All have been too fast. Looking backward, and seeing forward, how many days had passed, and how many days are still left in our A-levels course?

It's an 18-month course and now only 1 month or less remains. Mind you, I haven't deducted the holidays and weekends and sundays from the figure.

Speaking of holiday, it's coming up in a few days time. But it isn't really a holiday officially. To be precise enough, it's a study break when we all still have to attend so-called extra classes for certain subjects in certain days.

After all these, very soon and in a blink of eye, we'll all be separated from each other, CRUELLY, and we'll then continue with our own journey of life again, most probably all by ourself only.

Another farewell, another 'bye-bye'. It's easy to say, but it's hard to really MEAN IT.

Today, when I was listening to lectures, I actually wondered,

'Mr Khoo, Miss Ng, and even Mr Ronnie, will I be able to meet you all again some time in future? When you're already so old, and when I'm already so grown up. Will you able to recognize you when the "some time" comes, and will I be able to recognize you as well? Sir, madam, will our paths meet again when time shuffles to what it will be later soon?'

Same sentences go to my friends I've made with in college. Will our paths meet again?

I recommend this song to you when graduating. For those who'd been choir members with me may ignore this, but it's a really a good song. The rhythm, the melody, and the lyrics. I don't believe if they don't touch your heart.

MAY OUR PATHS MEET AGAIN
May our paths
meet again
as we travel on our way.

May you always be my friend
as I am yours today.

I know you must travel your road
as I must travel mine
but may our paths
meet again
some time.

May our paths
meet again
as we strive to reach our dream.

May your road be not as steep
as it may sometimes seem.

I know you must travel your road
as I must travel mine
but *may our paths
meet again
some time.*

Repeat *


Sorry for not uploading the clip, as I couldn't find any nice and fine clips of choirs singing this. You may go watch it in youtube, specifically sung by PVMHS Concer choir. Although the voice quality is worsened due to maybe the recording, it's still worth hearing. I used to sing this song for choir performances when teachers retired and seniors graduated.

Seriously, if you sing this song wholeheartedly and profoundly, you will cry.

Emotional song isn't it?

Conclusions for today : I'm sad and confused and hurt.
Pledge starting from today : I will cherish all the moments left with my friends.
Pleas made today : Friends, please don't leave me and disregard me when we're still together.

Love you guys.




-lotsa love-jie min-


Updates

In fact, peoples do notice my blog. Now only I realize.

You may consider me dumb and stupid, because, hey, the purpose of a blog is to put things related to you on the web and let everyone from every corner of the whole world see right? But haih, I rarely update my blog, so RARELY that I really feel so sorry for those who keep on urging and asking me to update my blog.

So sorry for the seldom update. No matter what, I really do hope that my blog could be more interesting than it is now.

I'm so thankful and grateful for you guys have been reading my blog all these while. Although not many of you, I appreciate that.

God Bless You. Cheers.

Last wish for today : Update my blog more often, at least to revitalize it a little.

But then, I would have to abandon my twilight books aside to go online more frequently. Does it worth so? Hmmm..I really doubt that.

Because I've become so so in love with the characters, especially.......nope. Not really Edward Cullen. Surprising huh? To be frank, I love Jacob more than any other of them in the twilight story.

I feel so sad of him, as his true love is not his, and Bella likes Edward and not him. So bad huh? Maybe werewolves are really destined to hate vampires as foes forever.

But it's only a.....what? Fairy tale? NO it may scare children, though kids may read the books faster than us. Twilight is merely a fantasy, only meant to be read and understood but not believed.

Sad huh? That Edward and Jacob are not real in life. *sob sob*

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

HOME



Well, if you're outstation or overseas,
you should listen to this song,
and sing it with the lyrics posted at the side bar.

It may touch your heart real deeply.

*ENJOY~*

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Tong Hua



This is the English version of the song 'Tong Hua' (Fairy Tale).
For those who can't read chinese, this cute Maplestory version of video is definitely worth having a look.

And for those who know chinese, below is the lyrics. Anyway, I bet that most of you have already known about the lyrics pretty well. =)

童话
忘了有多久
再没听到你
对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久
我开始慌了
是不是我又做错什么
你哭着对我说
童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂
从你说爱我以后
我的天空星星都亮了
我愿变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局
-----
你哭着对我说
童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂
从你说爱我以后
我的天空星星都亮了
我愿变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局
-----
我要变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局
-----
我愿变成童话里
你爱的那个天使
张开双手
变成翅膀守护你
你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里
幸福和快乐是结局
-----
幸福和快乐是结局
Jokes time.

Below is an advertisement from Sunsilk.

It actually shows the vanity of the women. So girls, please behave when you're with another lady, because you'll be the one who eventually get embarrassed. So what if you have beautiful hair huh?

Enjoy. =)
*and one reminder, turn on the speaker as loud as possible. There's one sound you shouldn't skip*
video

Another one. (This singer really looks so much like my mum)


Listen to your mom guys. Otherwise, she may sing this song to you until you surrender,

'Okay mum! I'll do it!!!! I'm sorry!!!! I promise that I WILL DO IT NOW!!!!'

Wondering how her kids actually suffer with their mum practicing this song over and over again everyday at home.

Anyway, i really admire her. How did she manage to sing the song that fast? She must have the motor-racing-tongue in order to sing that - a few words in just..a second?

Maybe that's just the power of a mom. =)

*I'm The Mom!!!!!*
TA-DA~~~~