I had had an eventful September. Most of the things that had happened were not delightful enough to be shared with.
It all started on the first day of September itself, when one of my important family members left the rest of us. Although she passed away peacefully, she had never really looked at us with her seemingly soulless eyes, nor said her last words to any of us in her last surviving month. All of us were helpless to see her dying state with irreversibly collapsing lungs, but the God had been with her and with us when she finally breathed for the last time.
And ironically, the EBP paper I'm currently critically appraising on is about quality of end of life care provided to elderly patients who were basically, dying. And this reminds me so much of my grandma, of how she had gone through her last moments, and how her children had endured with the pain and burdens. And how the memories continued to haunt me now and then, about how she used to shout whenever she saw me, 'HEY PHARMACIST! I know you're going to be a pharmacist in the future!'...
And how she looked so proud when she said those words.
But now I couldn't hear them anymore. That's life - birth, sickness, growing old, and eventually death. It's difficult to face death, but you're going to face it one day anyway. Don't be afraid of it; instead bask yourself in this knowledge and make full use of it - life's short, and before you regret anything, be sure you have done things that you've always wanted them done. And never ever, choose to ignore people around who care to stay and be with you. Don't take things for granted like me - I'd always thought she would live up to 100 years old regardless of any circumstances, but in the end she didn't make it. Don't wait till things happen - it will be WAY TOO LATE.
However, the chain of events did not just stop here for me in this September. I'm not going to talk about anything more here, because it would be too sensitive and I would probably get myself into troubles. But to endure everything, I had cried and screamed with tears, and finally seen things with definitely different perspectives. And I made a conclusion to myself : I only want to be happy, and besides that, I DON'T NEED ANYTHING ELSE MORE.
Finally September is over. Wake me up, when September ends. And yes, I've woken up to face a whole new month. Things that had happened in the past are already history, and I shall rise again to deal with more important things in my life. I have presentation and tests and exams and assignments coming up, and I can't afford to lose any more time.
But still, I wanna be happy. Mr. October, I hope you can bring me bliss and joy, because I know I deserve them.
I'm smiling, hope you're too. =)
