So good. I'm so envious.
Of those who shall never worry about their tertiary education, for there are people or organisations sponsoring their future education fees, and may their jobs secured.
Matriculation - I had never thought of entering matriculation courses. But now, after i have bid farewells to my high school friends who are leaving to Perlis and Pahang for matriculation, i asked myself seriously, "Why didn't i give myself a try for matriculation?" I never gave a try, because i had never thought of studying locally. But, why can't i just study in local universities?
JPA Scholarship - In my A-level class, only 1 of them received JPA Scholarship, and she just left like that, without a word of farewell, and without an omen of leaving us. She is the very first friend i met in my college life, together we stayed in the hostel, went for classes together, finished our homework together, and had fun in hostel together. However, after she went back to her hometown a few days before JPA Scholarships results were announced, i never see her again. She told me that she receives JPA Scholarship, but she will still come back to HELP and take the A-level exam in late May and early June. But, since then, she never replied my sms, nor my calls. When i returned to hostel the day before exam, and knocked her door, her roommate opened and told me that she had already moved out of KL a few days ago. My heart sank. Holding the stack of papers which lecturer gave us as a preparation for exam, which she asked me to take for her when she went back to hometown, i called her several times, but she never answered. My other friends too called her, and the next day during exam, we never saw her appearing. She just vanished, just like that, without saying 'goodbye' to any of us.
She walked into my life, with the fear of being alone in KL, and the need of a companion; and just walked away of my life, with nothing left for me.
I felt nothing, but disappointment and a bit of sorrow. How i wish to meet her again, and say a 'goodbye' to her. How i wish to meet her again, to listen to her telling her life with JPA Scholarship, the life in oversea studying medicine, at least to fulfill a little bit of my dream to study overseas.
Form 6 - Oh. Almost all my good friends are in Form 6 now. Wish them all the best, and a big farewell to them, for we meet each other very seldom now, and for we are not in the same school, same class anymore.
I miss 5K. I miss you all who had spent your time with me, even if it was for only a minute. May your memories with me, no matter good or bad, remain in our minds, still flashing like a movie in our brains, and still so fresh.
Lastly, a farewell to you, and to them.........
Monday, May 26, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Physics ar physics....
Today i had my very first 2 papers in my first A-level exam.
They are,
Physics Unit 1 &
Physics Unit 2.
And what else can i say, except....
PHYSICS SUCKS MAN!!!!
Alright, i'm really telling the truth. Last time in SPM, physics is never harder than an egg. But now in A-level, physics is harder than even the hardest rock on the earth. And it really SUCKS like HELL.
I don't know how are my scores for the 2 papers, just hope that i will score SATISFACTORILY. Actually, what are the problems? Well, we all know inside our hearts...
So? Thinking of dropping it? Or will i resit the papers?
Gosh. Just wait till the results are out first.
The next exams are : -
2/6 - Mathematics
3/6 - Biology
4/6 - Chemistry
I believe those subjects stated above will not be that TORTURING and so overwhelming. Do you agree, my dear classmates?
><
They are,
Physics Unit 1 &
Physics Unit 2.
And what else can i say, except....
PHYSICS SUCKS MAN!!!!
Alright, i'm really telling the truth. Last time in SPM, physics is never harder than an egg. But now in A-level, physics is harder than even the hardest rock on the earth. And it really SUCKS like HELL.
I don't know how are my scores for the 2 papers, just hope that i will score SATISFACTORILY. Actually, what are the problems? Well, we all know inside our hearts...
So? Thinking of dropping it? Or will i resit the papers?
Gosh. Just wait till the results are out first.
The next exams are : -
2/6 - Mathematics
3/6 - Biology
4/6 - Chemistry
I believe those subjects stated above will not be that TORTURING and so overwhelming. Do you agree, my dear classmates?
><
Saturday, May 17, 2008
哀悼。
让我们为四川地震的灾民哀悼吧。
五月十二日发生的7.8级大地震，不只震掉了无数的建筑物，震掉了无数条生命，也深深的震撼了我的心。
这几天每当我翻开报纸，我的心都会痛一下，眼泪都会差点禁不住滴下来。人定胜天。这是真的吗？
看看在灰墟边为死去的儿女而哭的死去活来的父母亲吧。
看看为了拯救几名小孩子而牺牲自己的幼儿园老师吧。
看看为了救活更多条人命而放弃自己的儿子的民警吧。
看看一位为了活命而毅然当场自己踞断脚的妇女吧。
看看这一位伟大的母亲吧。在沙石滚下来的那一刻，她弓起了自己的身子，让沙石压着自己，当场死亡，却因此用了她的躯体保护了三四个月大的孩子。孩子被找到时，他正甜甜的睡着，完全不知他的母亲为了他牺牲了生命。
看看那些没了爸妈的孩儿们吧。
看看这名被救出后，为了日后要赚钱养家，而苦求医生别锯断她的脚的女孩吧。
看看从此与终身伴侣阴阳相隔的人们吧。
看看舍身相救的救援人员及医护人员吧。看看这位自己都吃不饱的乞丐竟然把身上尽存的钱投进捐款箱吧。他说，'灾民比我更困难。'
看看这一位为了就救女同学而在灰土中刨了整整四个小时，双手血肉模糊，但仍不放弃的初中三男生吧。
看看已夷为平地的灾区吧。看看没了家庭、没了爱人、没了依靠、没了寄托的惊慌灾民吧。
看看死去的学生还紧握住铅笔，看看哀呼不已却换不回亲爱的人的人群，看看灾民的希望一点一点的破灭......
看看他们，再看看自己吧。
是不是觉得，现在还活着的你，很幸福？
让我们哀悼。让我们患难见真情。一个人的力量很渺小，但你的关心，你的支持，你的小小付出，将能让四川人，中国人，甚至全海外华人走出520大地震的悲痛。
我们会有更好的未来。让爱继续发扬光大，让爱继续扶持灾民走下去，让爱，弥补天灾带来的破坏。
'只要有希望，就不要放弃。'
'孩子，如果你还能活着，一定要记住我爱你。'
'活着的人要努力，你们的幸福生活，就是对死者的最好安慰。'
'灾害夺去了你的家庭，夺去了你的亲人，但是我们活着的人还要生活下去，而且要活得更好。'
阿弥陀佛。
五月十二日发生的7.8级大地震，不只震掉了无数的建筑物，震掉了无数条生命，也深深的震撼了我的心。
这几天每当我翻开报纸，我的心都会痛一下，眼泪都会差点禁不住滴下来。人定胜天。这是真的吗？
看看在灰墟边为死去的儿女而哭的死去活来的父母亲吧。
看看为了拯救几名小孩子而牺牲自己的幼儿园老师吧。
看看为了救活更多条人命而放弃自己的儿子的民警吧。
看看一位为了活命而毅然当场自己踞断脚的妇女吧。
看看这一位伟大的母亲吧。在沙石滚下来的那一刻，她弓起了自己的身子，让沙石压着自己，当场死亡，却因此用了她的躯体保护了三四个月大的孩子。孩子被找到时，他正甜甜的睡着，完全不知他的母亲为了他牺牲了生命。
看看那些没了爸妈的孩儿们吧。
看看这名被救出后，为了日后要赚钱养家，而苦求医生别锯断她的脚的女孩吧。
看看从此与终身伴侣阴阳相隔的人们吧。
看看舍身相救的救援人员及医护人员吧。看看这位自己都吃不饱的乞丐竟然把身上尽存的钱投进捐款箱吧。他说，'灾民比我更困难。'
看看这一位为了就救女同学而在灰土中刨了整整四个小时，双手血肉模糊，但仍不放弃的初中三男生吧。
看看已夷为平地的灾区吧。看看没了家庭、没了爱人、没了依靠、没了寄托的惊慌灾民吧。
看看死去的学生还紧握住铅笔，看看哀呼不已却换不回亲爱的人的人群，看看灾民的希望一点一点的破灭......
看看他们，再看看自己吧。
是不是觉得，现在还活着的你，很幸福？
让我们哀悼。让我们患难见真情。一个人的力量很渺小，但你的关心，你的支持，你的小小付出，将能让四川人，中国人，甚至全海外华人走出520大地震的悲痛。
我们会有更好的未来。让爱继续发扬光大，让爱继续扶持灾民走下去，让爱，弥补天灾带来的破坏。
'只要有希望，就不要放弃。'
'孩子，如果你还能活着，一定要记住我爱你。'
'活着的人要努力，你们的幸福生活，就是对死者的最好安慰。'
'灾害夺去了你的家庭，夺去了你的亲人，但是我们活着的人还要生活下去，而且要活得更好。'
阿弥陀佛。
Friday, May 16, 2008
I hate flirtation!!!!!
Since my holiday starts while waiting for exams(or commonly known as study leave), i begin to stay at home.
And when every afternoon arrives, i'm responsible to take care of my brother's lunch before he gets to school.
The best way for me is to, walk out of my house to the nearby shop lots where there are a lot of restaurants. Here in my residential area, there's no worries of no food to eat. There's only a matter of whether you have enough money in your pocket.
So as usual, today, in the afternoon, i left my house and walked to the rows of shops. And guess what, when i was about to cross a road, there was a man's head peeping out of a window of a lorry, and said,
'Hey HEY a moi! Leng lui!'
Then, he rounded his filthy mouth and made some hissing and kissing sounds. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! My anger rammed from my backbone up to my eyes, and i was feeling like slapping his ugly face!! Dare you flirt at me you stupid idiot!!! WTH!!!
But, the worse was to come. As i walked pass the shops, i could sense that, or i could SEE that, many of the male workers who were supposed to do their works, men who were supposed to have their lunch QUIETLY in the restaurants, and drivers who were supposed to drive CAREFULLY on the road, looked at me when i walked pass them, or in a better word, SCRUTINIZED me from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. Oh dear. At that moment, i nearly shouted at them, 'HEY HECK! Turn your head over the other side la! Go die la u all! @#$%^&*!@#$#$(18 PL)'
Finally i had bought my brother's lunch, and planned to scurry back home to leave such horrible and scary place. But, as i crossed the road, again another man's head appeared from a window of a lorry.
'YO YO a moi!! Leng moi!!'
And he rounded his lips and made those kissing sounds again.
OMGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! Instantly i threw an angry glare at that wicked flirt, but, as he sensed my anger, he smiled!!! SO happily and so 'YAM'!!! Luckily i controlled myself. If not, i would have throttled him using my fingers and nails until he died!!!!
I was exhausted when i arrived home. Oh, the safest place of all. But when i think of those flirtations, my face flushed again of anger and temper. I wonder, are girls really born to be flirted by those brutal and rude men??!!
Unfair! One day if possible, i want to flirt at guys too! Just see!!!!
@#$%^&*!!@*&*(&%^&$%&$%&(! (emo-ing!)
And when every afternoon arrives, i'm responsible to take care of my brother's lunch before he gets to school.
The best way for me is to, walk out of my house to the nearby shop lots where there are a lot of restaurants. Here in my residential area, there's no worries of no food to eat. There's only a matter of whether you have enough money in your pocket.
So as usual, today, in the afternoon, i left my house and walked to the rows of shops. And guess what, when i was about to cross a road, there was a man's head peeping out of a window of a lorry, and said,
'Hey HEY a moi! Leng lui!'
Then, he rounded his filthy mouth and made some hissing and kissing sounds. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! My anger rammed from my backbone up to my eyes, and i was feeling like slapping his ugly face!! Dare you flirt at me you stupid idiot!!! WTH!!!
But, the worse was to come. As i walked pass the shops, i could sense that, or i could SEE that, many of the male workers who were supposed to do their works, men who were supposed to have their lunch QUIETLY in the restaurants, and drivers who were supposed to drive CAREFULLY on the road, looked at me when i walked pass them, or in a better word, SCRUTINIZED me from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. Oh dear. At that moment, i nearly shouted at them, 'HEY HECK! Turn your head over the other side la! Go die la u all! @#$%^&*!@#$#$(18 PL)'
Finally i had bought my brother's lunch, and planned to scurry back home to leave such horrible and scary place. But, as i crossed the road, again another man's head appeared from a window of a lorry.
'YO YO a moi!! Leng moi!!'
And he rounded his lips and made those kissing sounds again.
OMGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! Instantly i threw an angry glare at that wicked flirt, but, as he sensed my anger, he smiled!!! SO happily and so 'YAM'!!! Luckily i controlled myself. If not, i would have throttled him using my fingers and nails until he died!!!!
I was exhausted when i arrived home. Oh, the safest place of all. But when i think of those flirtations, my face flushed again of anger and temper. I wonder, are girls really born to be flirted by those brutal and rude men??!!
Unfair! One day if possible, i want to flirt at guys too! Just see!!!!
@#$%^&*!!@*&*(&%^&$%&$%&(! (emo-ing!)
Sunday, May 11, 2008
What does my name mean
| What Jamie Lee Jie Min Means |
 You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. |
I don't know how exactly true this is..but i think the last 2 paragraphs suit me quite well.
So how you think? Just be frank if you agree or think otherwise!
My Mixed Feelings Chapter 2
I can't get JPA.
I don't know how to describe my feelings. Oh ya, it's true that i'm sad, i'm disappointed. I want to cry. I don't know why. My mood is bad. I feel like bursting out all my feelings that are trying to be compressed inside me so far after i had left my high school.
I'm empty. Oh yes. it's true. I thought i would be happy and enjoying college life, as i had always imagined it last year, but, reality always goes against hopes. I'm useless, i'm targetless, i'm idle.
I still remember, my dad once told me that he dreamt about me getting JPA Scholarships. His face was gleaming with glorious lights, and i know that he's been longing for a scholarship for me. My family is not rich. Having a chance to study A-levels in HELP is already an extravagancy for my family, and yet i still wish to go overseas later for my studies. My family will not be able to afford. I still have 2 younger siblings at home, they too have the hopes to get a good education. Am i to be so selfish? Am i to be the financial burden of my parents?
Yea. I disappointed my dad. He kept on emphasizing that my result is already good enough, it's just that luck isn't with me.
Grief. I start to understand this word. Is it because i'm growing, is it because i'm starting to think of myself and other people, is it because i have seen so much of our society nowadays, that i start to hate and dislike this world? My mum said more are to come, but i don't hope to face them. I can't afford to.
But i still have to learn, learn to face failures, learn to cope with difficulties, learn to fight with prejudices. Sometimes i can't understand why i can't get this, while other people can get it; and why bad things strike, while i'm having optimistic thoughts on it. Why? Why am i so unhappy?
Many friends soothe me when they know that i've failed to get JPA. I really thank them a lot, for being there to give me advices, and cheer me up when i'm down. From them i feel the warmth, the love.
"Nevermind, you still have other chances. Study A-levels well, then later apply scholarships. I'm not rich too. Think openly my dear."
"You still have bank negara. Don't be like that."
Anyway, there are always pros and cons in everything. At least, i don't have to work for government for 10 years. Maybe, i will have a better life without that scholarship.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed. May God bless me in my future undertakings. Happy Mother's Day to every mother. You are the best.
And happy birthday to those whose birthdays are today too.
I don't know how to describe my feelings. Oh ya, it's true that i'm sad, i'm disappointed. I want to cry. I don't know why. My mood is bad. I feel like bursting out all my feelings that are trying to be compressed inside me so far after i had left my high school.
I'm empty. Oh yes. it's true. I thought i would be happy and enjoying college life, as i had always imagined it last year, but, reality always goes against hopes. I'm useless, i'm targetless, i'm idle.
I still remember, my dad once told me that he dreamt about me getting JPA Scholarships. His face was gleaming with glorious lights, and i know that he's been longing for a scholarship for me. My family is not rich. Having a chance to study A-levels in HELP is already an extravagancy for my family, and yet i still wish to go overseas later for my studies. My family will not be able to afford. I still have 2 younger siblings at home, they too have the hopes to get a good education. Am i to be so selfish? Am i to be the financial burden of my parents?
Yea. I disappointed my dad. He kept on emphasizing that my result is already good enough, it's just that luck isn't with me.
Grief. I start to understand this word. Is it because i'm growing, is it because i'm starting to think of myself and other people, is it because i have seen so much of our society nowadays, that i start to hate and dislike this world? My mum said more are to come, but i don't hope to face them. I can't afford to.
But i still have to learn, learn to face failures, learn to cope with difficulties, learn to fight with prejudices. Sometimes i can't understand why i can't get this, while other people can get it; and why bad things strike, while i'm having optimistic thoughts on it. Why? Why am i so unhappy?
Many friends soothe me when they know that i've failed to get JPA. I really thank them a lot, for being there to give me advices, and cheer me up when i'm down. From them i feel the warmth, the love.
"Nevermind, you still have other chances. Study A-levels well, then later apply scholarships. I'm not rich too. Think openly my dear."
"You still have bank negara. Don't be like that."
Anyway, there are always pros and cons in everything. At least, i don't have to work for government for 10 years. Maybe, i will have a better life without that scholarship.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed. May God bless me in my future undertakings. Happy Mother's Day to every mother. You are the best.
And happy birthday to those whose birthdays are today too.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
My Mixed Feelings Chapter 1
Simply written on 8/5/2008, thursday night
Gosh. So damn unlucky. I intended to go online tonight, but so damn it, I don’t know what had actually happened to the internet connection here(hostel). My pc can’t even connect with the net, not even to sign in my messenger. Oh. What else should I say. After a few weeks of busy and crazy handling tests and exams, I thought it is now the time to rest, to online, to chat in the messenger boxes. But, things never turn up to be the way it should be. Yesterday when I got online, I saw no one else except a few of them were showing online icons in my list of contacts.
A sensation of disappointment and depression aroused. Well, I admit that I miss my old buddy so much, but, don’t you? Just imagine, you have parted with your friends who had studied with you, made jokes with you, and enjoyed every single schooling time with you together for 5 years. Don’t you feel sad when you have to leave them? Friend. This word has indeed implanted in my minds since long ago.
Because I believe that, friends are the second most important people in our lives, just right below our family members. Alright, for couples it will be exceptional. They will treat their handsome hubbies and lovely wives as their only reliance. But that is EXCEPTIONAL. I’m single, who else can I rely on except my family members? I’m living outside of my house, so, who else if I don’t stay with my friends?
I miss you guys. Sorry if I had made you angry once or twice or thrice, and thanks so much if you had ever made me smile and enlightened my days. And for sure, I hope to thank more people than to say sorry with regrets to the others. I love them, as well as they love me too, I suppose, and I hope and wish.
Love is perpetual. But, is a friendship perpetual too? Can it be eternal? There’s a song, ‘Eternal Flame’, it says an eternal love, but, why isn’t there a song called ‘Eternal Intimate’, depicting the long-lasting and continuous friendship?
This friendship shall never sink, because it’s not a real ship. This friendship is an imagined and illustrated ship by humans, it’s full with love, trusts, understandings, and consents and condonements.
Okay, there are some friends who do betray others. But, it’s inevitable. It can’t be avoided, just like when your own child whom you have put so much hopes and efforts onto becomes treacherous towards you, and when your most beloved husband has affair with another lady who is so much prettier and sexier than you. Be careful when you choose and select friends, and they will definitely benefit you, and affect you in your whole entire life.
Because, friends need you too.
Gosh. So damn unlucky. I intended to go online tonight, but so damn it, I don’t know what had actually happened to the internet connection here(hostel). My pc can’t even connect with the net, not even to sign in my messenger. Oh. What else should I say. After a few weeks of busy and crazy handling tests and exams, I thought it is now the time to rest, to online, to chat in the messenger boxes. But, things never turn up to be the way it should be. Yesterday when I got online, I saw no one else except a few of them were showing online icons in my list of contacts.
A sensation of disappointment and depression aroused. Well, I admit that I miss my old buddy so much, but, don’t you? Just imagine, you have parted with your friends who had studied with you, made jokes with you, and enjoyed every single schooling time with you together for 5 years. Don’t you feel sad when you have to leave them? Friend. This word has indeed implanted in my minds since long ago.
Because I believe that, friends are the second most important people in our lives, just right below our family members. Alright, for couples it will be exceptional. They will treat their handsome hubbies and lovely wives as their only reliance. But that is EXCEPTIONAL. I’m single, who else can I rely on except my family members? I’m living outside of my house, so, who else if I don’t stay with my friends?
I miss you guys. Sorry if I had made you angry once or twice or thrice, and thanks so much if you had ever made me smile and enlightened my days. And for sure, I hope to thank more people than to say sorry with regrets to the others. I love them, as well as they love me too, I suppose, and I hope and wish.
Love is perpetual. But, is a friendship perpetual too? Can it be eternal? There’s a song, ‘Eternal Flame’, it says an eternal love, but, why isn’t there a song called ‘Eternal Intimate’, depicting the long-lasting and continuous friendship?
This friendship shall never sink, because it’s not a real ship. This friendship is an imagined and illustrated ship by humans, it’s full with love, trusts, understandings, and consents and condonements.
Okay, there are some friends who do betray others. But, it’s inevitable. It can’t be avoided, just like when your own child whom you have put so much hopes and efforts onto becomes treacherous towards you, and when your most beloved husband has affair with another lady who is so much prettier and sexier than you. Be careful when you choose and select friends, and they will definitely benefit you, and affect you in your whole entire life.
Because, friends need you too.
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